If ya can't say something nice...BLOG about it!

**WARNING** I am mad so forgive me if I sound nasty.

My stepkids just came back from their every-other-week (or whenever their mom feels like taking them) weekend visitation that is technically court-ordered but she doesn't pay any child support so we're not sure how enforceable these visitations are.

Usually they tell us that thier mom hardly speaks to them and spends most of the weekend on the computer and they basically just visit with their half-siblings that their mom has with her current live-in boyfriend (she says they are "common law" married but obviously she's never done any research on the term because to be "common law" you have to have a legal document saying you are married - you just don't have to have a ceremony and it's not recognized in this state anyway - they are technically and legally "cohabitating")

THIS weekend however, I guess she had plenty to say to them. My 12 year-old stepdaughter came home telling us she told her she should get a job and buy a car. That in itself didn't bother me too much, but then my stepson came in almost in tears and said his mom and her boyfriend told him he was too fat and should start working out on a weight bench. First of all this child is 11, almost as tall as me and weighs around 80 pounds. He is also a sensitive soul and it's obvious that their comments hurt him.

At first I assumed he was taking something out of context and maybe overreacting (he's sensitive, like I said), but then his mom spent 15 minutes outside talking to their dad telling him my 11 year-old child needed to get an ab machine! Excuse me while I curse for a few seconds.

I am so glad my husband was out talking to her because I would have asked her what the hell she was thinking. WHY would anyone call a child fat! Couldn't she just have suggested that he use the weight bench more? Or play outside more? (instead of spending the whole weekend in front of the TV or playing video games which is what they usually do at her house) First of all he is definately NOT fat! He has the tiniest little pooch that you can hardly see if he's not slouching! That will go away when he shoots up another inch this summer. He is a healthy active kid who doesn't get NEAR as much junk food as he wants during the week! We eat fast food twice a month - and that's only if we're going to drop them off at her house.

Secondly - she is not even close to being someone in the position to tell ANYONE how fat she thinks they are! If my beanpole son is fat what in God's name does she think SHE is? She looks fatter than me and I am FAT! And if she has a problem with my son's weight WHAT does she think of her daughter? I won't let anyone call the kid any names but she is a little pudge. She's a CUTE pudge but she is definately pudgy. Would I call her fat? NO! She's 4 or something! She's heavier than any of MY kids ever were - including my stepchildren. If she's saying hurtful things to MY child WHAT is she saying to HERS?

Obviously this woman has never been in a crisis help center and seen a teenage boy bone-thin from debilitating anorexia because he didn't feel acceptance from either of his parents. I just hope we are giving him a loving home that will fight any bad feelings he gets from his mother. Having had family members with anorexia and bullemia, calling someone fat is a red-button issue with me. I'd never do it - I think it's better to tell someone how to be healthier than to put them down.

I'm really hoping she was just dumb and didn't know how stupid and hurtful she was. I'm really REALLY hoping. Because if she's being hurtful on purpose we'll have to reconsider our custody agreement. But for now we will sit and convince our wonderful little boy that he is nowhere NEAR "fat" and give him some ice cream. Then we will go to the park and play.

*****THERE!! I feel better!!*******8

At least we're alive....

I guess it's a GOOD thing when your morning is defined by the fact that everyone is still alive but by golly I don't need this kind of stress right now!

Yesterday my husband suprised me by telling me "by the way, mom & dad are coming over for dinner tonight." If he was any other man I probably would have slapped him, but lucky for him he's special lol. I cleaned up real quick and managed to put together a dessert and shoved it in the oven. My husband grilled pork ribs and I baked potatoes and we cheated and bought salad from our local convinience store. All in all, it was a great dinner, and the dessert was suprisingly fantastic.

I did not use the stove-top, I used the oven and I usually (obsessively compulsively) go ahead and make sure all five dials are in the "off" position before I leave the stove, then double check the oven dial because once I accidentally left it running and I have never ever heard the end of it from my husband. However since people were there and since I knew The Mr was grilling outside and did not use the stove and since I knew I used the oven I just made sure I shut the oven off and that was that.

This morning I woke up to a strange smell. My brain told me it was gas but I figured it couldn't be because I made sure the oven was off. The Mr didn't say anything about the smell and I knew my sense of smell isn't the best so I tried to ignore it but it wouldn't go away. I asked my oldest daughter Poinsettia to check all the knobs on the stove and make sure they were off. She came back in a microsecond and said they were off.

I suspect she just looked at them though and didn't acutally check because the smell started really freaking me out and I finally checked it myself and guess what? The left front burner was turned up all the way open!

Three possibilities: One: Somehow I turned the thing on without realizing it (hopefully NOT in my sleep - that would be very disturbing). Two: A kid (or two) came out and either messed with it or tried to turn it on or maybe even wanted to try to cook something and since it didn't light they just left it. Three (and the most popular according to the children): A ghost did it.

I'm thinking it was #2 but of course no one will admit to it. I freaked out anyway. Luckily I was too lazy to turn off the two exhaust fans last night but since I did not there has been a constant stream of outward air flow all night long, so all I had to do this morning was open up a few windows and the smell was gone inside of two hours. Isn't the gas that comes out of the oven carbon monoxide? I thought it was one of the main components. If that's the case and it was on all night couldn't we all have died or am I overimagining things?

But first of all, I have no clue what kind of gas comes out of that thing, and second of all, the CO detector did not go off so I have to assume no one was in actual danger...but I freaked out anyway. I'm a worst case scenario type of person. I and my people believe this to be a self-protecting trait because I imagine the worst thing ever to happen and then whatever actually happened is a lot easier to deal with. And now I'm sure I will be back to obsessively compulsively checking all the oven knobs twice every night to make sure no one will die in their sleep that night because all morning all I thought was "we could have all died! we could have all died!"

Maybe I was still stressed because I've been dealing with a horde of trojan viruses on my computer and I'm terrified of loosing the three years of pictures I still have on it. I need NEED to back those things up asap - but in my mind if I try to back them up the trojan will sneak onto my CD and then infect every computer I ever install those pictures onto. Worst case scenario LOL. So The Mr and I are busy trying to get rid of all traces of the stupid viruses.

To add to all that today is the day I am meeting our new lawyer to discuss our current situation. The situation that I of course can't even talk to anyone about until it's over - which is just as stress inducing because I like to get a hundred different opinions on such events to figure out what to do and it's highly stressful to have to keep it to myself (&the immediate circle of family/friends). That added to the fact that The Mr and I feel it's best not to discuss any part of it with the children who are my main source of conversation during the day is loads of "fun" also. I struggle with this decision. Ever since I was told my mom was getting better every day and she died (breast cancer) I don't feel like I should keep things from my children. I know some can handle it but some wouldn't - at least not very well. On one hand I feel I shouldn't make them worry if I don't have to but on the other hand if there is going to be a big change in their lives I should really prepare them. But the Mr is adamant on keeping it quiet until we know for sure there is something worth talking about so I concede to his will this time.

Stress! Wish me luck (and make sure your oven is off!). I will be having a long discussion with all my kids on WHY the oven should always be shut off and never played with and I am seriously entertaining the idea of installing security cameras in my house to find out who is stealing my food & pop and who is now apparently playing with the oven! What if someone is sleepwalking?

Backyard Archeology

I hope you all had a wonderful mother's day and remembered to talk to your mommies. We did not really "celebrate" mommy day because nobody will clean and I won't let anyone use the stove. I went out and weed-whacked and eventually started planting. I planted radishes and little onion starts.

My husband was tilling the garden to get it ready for the massive amounts of plants we are getting ready to install in it. (We found volunteer lettuce and 3 volunteer cucumbers.)

We decided wince we are getting closer to actually owning this property we would start making plans on how to change the property. While we were renting we were under contract to keep the property AS IS and keep taking care of it as if she still were taking care of it (although I like to think I've been doing a BETTER job at most things). She planted literally every single plant on this property. In most cases she did a fabulous job of planting trees and shurbs but The Mr and I don't think we will keep a few of her choices. Some things we can't figure out why on earth she planted them in the first place! Most of those trees that are right up against the house are going to have to go.

There is a huge pile of what I assumed was a compost heap over by the alley. I didn't know how to upkeep a compost heap so I let the grass take it over. It is a nightmare to mow. The Mr decided he was sick of the ugly lump marring his yard and we wanted to get rid of it to expand our strawberry patch. He started digging it up and moving it. You'll never believe what we found!

We couldn't figure out what it was! Just that it was cement. The Mr thought maybe it was a cistern lid - there's a lot of those around town. I'm not sure what a cistern is...I believe it has something to do with getting water out of a well or something.

Anyway, after we cleared the whole thing off this is what it looked like.


Afterward, the Mr thought maybe it was actually a cement slab used to cover up what used to be an outhouse. LOL that would be our luck.

Still, while we were digging it up our neighbors came over and inquired about our garden. We have the honor of having the biggest garden in town. It's nowhere near the PRETTIEST by any means heh heh. But because we weren't sure if we were staying or going we put off starting the garden and it's probably a good thing, too, because last night (IN MAY) we had a frost advisory!

Here's the garden: I marked where I planted seeds with soem old fishing line so I will remember where the plants are supposed to come up and hopefully I'll be able to keep up with the weeds easier . That's my thoughts anyway.

Spring is BY FAR my most favorite season of all!!

Just a Little Something

No, I haven't been blogging. This is my stressed mom blog and it's difficult to blog in a stressed mom blog when you're just not stressed.

My biggest stress right now is those adorable puppies. They are coming up on the puppy versions of teenagers. That means that any personality traits that aren't exactly desirable start popping up. My beautiful Butterfly, we now know, is dominant-aggressive. She wants to pick fights with all the other dogs. The Mr. is talking about getting rid of her but I've watched enough "Dog Whisperer" to know that it's controllable. I've been working with her every day. Unfortunately there are days when I just have too many other things to do so I have to separate them. TBone goes outside on his run, and the other two take turns on who gets to be with me and who gets to be outside on the other run or stuck in the bathroom. I don't complain about any of it because I knew it would be hard work to have puppies years and years before I finally decided to get one. It's just work.

The house situation feels like it's coming to a close but I can't mention anything about it until it's finalized because quite frankly I'm waiting for the landlords to find another way to royally screw us over (again). I just hope we make the final decisions soon because it drives me nuts to not be allowed to talk about it with anyone.

I have stopped playing any Facebook applications alltogether. This is amusing considering all the time I spent allowing apps to go to my email LOL. Oh well. I just don't have any time. If this summer is anything like LAST summer, however, I am sure I'll have time to sneak onto one every once and a while. A part of me just thinks I've outgrown them. There are better things I could be doing with my life then spending three hours staring at my computer. I miss them, however.

Unfortunately I don't think this summer will be like last summer at all. For one thing, we will either be moving or we will be working on transforming this little trailer into something we'd be proud to own. We have floors to redo, some plumbing work we want to get done, and we're talking about installing a ceiling fan in the bedroom (well, The Mr is talking about it). We have two dead trees to get rid of and several live trees that we just can't wait to cut down. We even have a playset we want to put up for the little kids who live here and the little kids who visit.

Another reason this summer might not be like last years is LAST year my kids WANTED to help me get stuff done. This year they do NOT. They have not done one single one of their normal chores for months (without being yelled at or the threat of something taken away). So that means I have to do it all myself. My husband says let it all be until the kids help. Then our house looks AWFUL. It sucks. I don't know why all of a sudden they don't care if they live in a pigsty. But I could Dr. Phil them and take everything away until they are just sitting in a chair staring at a wall and they still won't do anything. We've offered to pay them an obscene amount of money if they'll do their chores. Still nothing. We've bought our oldest daughter a (cheap used) laptop, and all she has to do is do the same chores she's been expected to do for the past three years. It's still sitting in the closet. She doesn't want it bad enough to actually pick up two floors (three if you count her bedroom) and do the dishes twice a week. The boys haven't been allowed to touch their DS's in three weeks cuz they don't want to pick up trash out of their bedroom that they put there. It's infuriating! Summer's coming! Am I really expected to let them go to their friends' houses and do whatever they want during the day while I clean up after them like they're four? Strike that - TWO - I make my 4 year-old help me clean during the day.

I am at a loss as to what to do. It will just get harder because I'm pet-sitting my sisters animals for a few weeks and they will want to touch/pet/play with them...but guess who will be doing all the feeding and poop-picking-up? And guess who barely has enough time to read ten pages let alone do anything she actually WANTS to do like garden and draw and paint and yes, occasionally play a computer game? GUESS WHO CAN'T EVEN PLAY SIMS FOR THE PAST TWO MONTHS?? The slave housemaid known as mother.

Bah - I gotta go clean see ya!

It's all good here, though. Nothing really bad going on. :)