If ya can't say something nice...BLOG about it!

**WARNING** I am mad so forgive me if I sound nasty.

My stepkids just came back from their every-other-week (or whenever their mom feels like taking them) weekend visitation that is technically court-ordered but she doesn't pay any child support so we're not sure how enforceable these visitations are.

Usually they tell us that thier mom hardly speaks to them and spends most of the weekend on the computer and they basically just visit with their half-siblings that their mom has with her current live-in boyfriend (she says they are "common law" married but obviously she's never done any research on the term because to be "common law" you have to have a legal document saying you are married - you just don't have to have a ceremony and it's not recognized in this state anyway - they are technically and legally "cohabitating")

THIS weekend however, I guess she had plenty to say to them. My 12 year-old stepdaughter came home telling us she told her she should get a job and buy a car. That in itself didn't bother me too much, but then my stepson came in almost in tears and said his mom and her boyfriend told him he was too fat and should start working out on a weight bench. First of all this child is 11, almost as tall as me and weighs around 80 pounds. He is also a sensitive soul and it's obvious that their comments hurt him.

At first I assumed he was taking something out of context and maybe overreacting (he's sensitive, like I said), but then his mom spent 15 minutes outside talking to their dad telling him my 11 year-old child needed to get an ab machine! Excuse me while I curse for a few seconds.

I am so glad my husband was out talking to her because I would have asked her what the hell she was thinking. WHY would anyone call a child fat! Couldn't she just have suggested that he use the weight bench more? Or play outside more? (instead of spending the whole weekend in front of the TV or playing video games which is what they usually do at her house) First of all he is definately NOT fat! He has the tiniest little pooch that you can hardly see if he's not slouching! That will go away when he shoots up another inch this summer. He is a healthy active kid who doesn't get NEAR as much junk food as he wants during the week! We eat fast food twice a month - and that's only if we're going to drop them off at her house.

Secondly - she is not even close to being someone in the position to tell ANYONE how fat she thinks they are! If my beanpole son is fat what in God's name does she think SHE is? She looks fatter than me and I am FAT! And if she has a problem with my son's weight WHAT does she think of her daughter? I won't let anyone call the kid any names but she is a little pudge. She's a CUTE pudge but she is definately pudgy. Would I call her fat? NO! She's 4 or something! She's heavier than any of MY kids ever were - including my stepchildren. If she's saying hurtful things to MY child WHAT is she saying to HERS?

Obviously this woman has never been in a crisis help center and seen a teenage boy bone-thin from debilitating anorexia because he didn't feel acceptance from either of his parents. I just hope we are giving him a loving home that will fight any bad feelings he gets from his mother. Having had family members with anorexia and bullemia, calling someone fat is a red-button issue with me. I'd never do it - I think it's better to tell someone how to be healthier than to put them down.

I'm really hoping she was just dumb and didn't know how stupid and hurtful she was. I'm really REALLY hoping. Because if she's being hurtful on purpose we'll have to reconsider our custody agreement. But for now we will sit and convince our wonderful little boy that he is nowhere NEAR "fat" and give him some ice cream. Then we will go to the park and play.

*****THERE!! I feel better!!*******8