Crisis Diverted

I am weird.

Now that we've established that I can tell you about the big hurtles I have had to endure these last few years and you won't have to worry that I am nuts because you know I'm weird.

A couple years ago the worst thing in my life was dealing with the fact that I have lived in Illinois for so long that the time I've spent in Illinois was more than the time I've spent in California. This was such a hard thing for me to do, you have NO idea! I miss my hometown SO MUCH it PHYSICALLY hurts me. I call it the rusty pipe. It feels like a rusty metal pipe around five inches in diameter has been shoved through my chest, through (or around - it's a pretty big pipe) my heart and out of my back. When it's really bad I feel like someone is pulling the pipe out and shoving it back in again several times.

I've never felt that way about a person (although with the exception of my very best friend Amanda I've never been apart from anyone I love as much as I loved California).

Based on how badly I reacted to just that information I was TERRIFIED of my baby's 5th birthday coming up. I was alive for just two years when I recieved a sister. After that I have NEVER at all in my ENTIRE LIFE been in a house that did not have at least one person under the age of 5.

I moved out of my house when my brother was still young and moved into a house with two kids under the age of 2, then I proved to be very fertile and kept adding kids ;). I knew when my baby girl (Angel) was born I did not want any other kids (she was SUCH an AWFUL baby!! LOL) and maybe if she actually WAS the last one I would have been happy when she turned 5 but as it happens God decided it would be funny to, while we were planning Ed's surgery to ENSURE no more kids, pop another baby in me.

I tell you what I CRIED when I found out I was pregnant AGAIN!! I just KNEW this baby was going to be even worse than my Angel! I was going to have it before Angel even turned two! I was a wreck! But then he came and he was just the most PERFECT BABY EVER! He was just so gorgeous and smart and everything made him happy! He was so perfect he POTTY TRAINED HIMSELF WHEN HE WAS TWO YEARS OLD!!

So I was happy I had another baby. I was sure I didn't want any more babies but I realized with horror one day that he was going to turn five and for the first time in my ENTIRE LIFE I would not have a baby in my house! I immediately started freaking out. What would I do without SOMEONE I had to help take care of?

That's when I came up with the puppy plan. I love puppies and in my eyes puppies never grow up! I've had my puppy TBone for over eight years and he's still just a pup to me. So the puppy plan was perfect. I'd have my baby and I could let my Bossman grow up and the babies would keep me occupied long enough to deal with the fact that for the first time in 30 years I was babyless.

My baby boy turned five years old and every time he comes up with a new suprise for me (Lately he tells me he wants money and I say help do chores and he says he wants a thousand dollars and I say wow, that's a lot of chores) the metal pipe in my chest moves a little...but then my puppies come love on me and the pipe becomes still again. So I guess the puppy plan is working!

Depression Diverted!!