Posts
Apparently low blood sugar drastically affects my phobias! I was required to fast for 14 hours before I went to have my blood drawn. This I did. I won't go into how torturous it was to fix a pot roast for dinner and get it started not having eaten anything for 12 hours and not being able to eat anything for who knows how much longer....
I was feeling pretty good on the way up to the lab. I had myself convinced I wasn't even worried and it was high time I got over this silly "fear" and I was feeling so good about the whole thing that I told myself I'd even watch the needle go in!! I was very proud of myself and my ability to rise above this childish fear of a needle peircing my skin.
I was good. I walked into the office and headed towards the lab. This is about when my arms started hurting from the elbows down. I kept going. Right before I gave the receptionist my name I realized I wasn't breathing. At all.
No biggie - I often unconsciouly hold my breath when I'm (terrified) nervous about going to the dentist's office, it's a simple solution to do some meditation-like breathing while talking to myself inside my head ("breath iiiiiiiiiin, ..........., breath ouuuuuuuuuut").
So I was good. They called my name and I walked, somewhat stiffly, back to where I was to sit in the high-chair-like contraption they make you sit in. I was all smiles for the nurse, but she was eyeballing me warily...like I was gonna hit her or something. This is about the time I realize my entire body is shaking like I'm having some minor seizure.
I took off my jacket and sat down, hoping that for once I wouldn't have to explain my weird reaction to something I'm not technically "afraid" of. She began making her preparations and asked me which arm I wanted her to take blood from. I said "Left, please!" (I blantantly protect my right side, screw the left LOL)
She kept on looking at me funny and said "My god, you're TERRIFIED aren't you?"
Sigh. So then I had to sit and explain to her, as I've explained to hundreds of nurses and doctors and quite a few dentists that I don't understand WHY I act like this - I'm not AFRAID of the needle...there's just something about the needle piercing my skin and entering a blood vessel that my body just uncontrollably finds horrifying. I promised I wouldn't get up and run away, I promised I wouldn't punch her or flail about widly. I told her I might cry, but she should just ignore me and go about her business.
I realized I would NOT be able to look at it, as bravely as I boasted to myself on the drive over. I had to do the usual biting of my finger and looking anywhere but where she was drawing blood and tapped both my feet but as I promised the arm she was taking blood out of remained perfectly still.
Maybe TOO still. The blood stopped coming out. I admitted in my endeavors to not eat anything I may have forgotten to up the amount of water I'm supposed to drink. She said she really hated to do it but she was going to have to stick my other arm.
I cheerfully agreed but she kept looking at me funny again. I'm guessing I either turned green or at least paled considerably. Still she stuck the other side, got PLENTY of blood out of that side and told me I'm going to have to suggest to people in the future that they take from the right side.
Once it was over I was good again. Once again mortified at how I react. I don't understand it. I understand everything rationally and I don't have a problem going by myself, holding still or having it done. If all that's fine WHY do I start shaking so badly? It's ridiculous.
I was supposed to stay for 10 - 15 minutes to make sure I didn't pass out since I had blood removed from my body and I hadn't eaten in almost a full day but I did not care. When my skin is pierced a hormone is released (oxytocin, I think) that makes me all happy and cheery and bright. I imagine it's the same hormone that makes people keeping picking their scabs off or keep on getting tattoos. I know it's the hormone that makes cutters feel good. In any case, I wasn't lightheaded or anything so I left.
I wanted to go straight to some fast food joint and get some sustenance, but I had to go to Walmart and get my stepson some more school supplies (he needed white-out....I didn't even know they still MADE white-out. What, is he using a TYPEWRITER??)
Then on my way out of town I went to Target because the last time I went to Target I made the mistake of looking at all their Halloween decorations. I should say up front that NORMALLY (and anyone who's seen my halloween decoration collection can verify) I DO NOT like anything CUTE for Halloween. I have a cute witch here or there, but mostly it's live-looking snakes, live-looking spiders, NON-cute ghosts, and a multitude of real-looking bones and skulls and skeletons.
This year Target has cutsie adorable cutie decorations. At first I thought they were ridiculous (the sparkly pastel skeletons in particular made me want to retch) but then I saw this candy jar
. I am ALL ABOUT the cutesy Frankensteins they have at Target this year!!!! They are SOOO CUTE!! I blatantly don't like Frankenstein because of the whole "Science over God" thing but I am ALL ABOUT this adorable guy at Target!! Of course at the time I had already spent way too much money on my kids at Target so I refused to buy anything else other than the punch bowl with ladle and the tablecloth because last year I looked and looked and LOOKED for those two items and NEVER found them! Also I usually don't buy Hday stuff until AFTER it's over to hit those FREAKING AWESOME after holiday sales!
So I left it and went home. But ever since then I could not stop thinking about that candy jar. It's SOOO cute! C'mon LOOK at it!! HOW CUTE IS THIS?? HOW COULD ANYONE SAY NO? So I went back and bought it. It was the only thing I bought out of the entire Target so I was proud of myself. Besides, it's so cute there's no gaurantee that it would still be around after the holiday is over. AND after the experience we had where we tried to buy a pool in JUNE and they couldn't because they were getting ready for CHRISTMAS (walmart) I didn't want to chance not getting this fabulous candy dish. So I bought it. And I love it.
I still want this...whatever it is.
It is about two feet tall and I assume it's a giant candy dish or something for outside but it was a little too costly for me. So I'm sticking with the frankenstien candy dish for this year.
I was feeling pretty good on the way up to the lab. I had myself convinced I wasn't even worried and it was high time I got over this silly "fear" and I was feeling so good about the whole thing that I told myself I'd even watch the needle go in!! I was very proud of myself and my ability to rise above this childish fear of a needle peircing my skin.
I was good. I walked into the office and headed towards the lab. This is about when my arms started hurting from the elbows down. I kept going. Right before I gave the receptionist my name I realized I wasn't breathing. At all.
No biggie - I often unconsciouly hold my breath when I'm (terrified) nervous about going to the dentist's office, it's a simple solution to do some meditation-like breathing while talking to myself inside my head ("breath iiiiiiiiiin, ..........., breath ouuuuuuuuuut").
So I was good. They called my name and I walked, somewhat stiffly, back to where I was to sit in the high-chair-like contraption they make you sit in. I was all smiles for the nurse, but she was eyeballing me warily...like I was gonna hit her or something. This is about the time I realize my entire body is shaking like I'm having some minor seizure.
I took off my jacket and sat down, hoping that for once I wouldn't have to explain my weird reaction to something I'm not technically "afraid" of. She began making her preparations and asked me which arm I wanted her to take blood from. I said "Left, please!" (I blantantly protect my right side, screw the left LOL)
She kept on looking at me funny and said "My god, you're TERRIFIED aren't you?"
Sigh. So then I had to sit and explain to her, as I've explained to hundreds of nurses and doctors and quite a few dentists that I don't understand WHY I act like this - I'm not AFRAID of the needle...there's just something about the needle piercing my skin and entering a blood vessel that my body just uncontrollably finds horrifying. I promised I wouldn't get up and run away, I promised I wouldn't punch her or flail about widly. I told her I might cry, but she should just ignore me and go about her business.
I realized I would NOT be able to look at it, as bravely as I boasted to myself on the drive over. I had to do the usual biting of my finger and looking anywhere but where she was drawing blood and tapped both my feet but as I promised the arm she was taking blood out of remained perfectly still.
Maybe TOO still. The blood stopped coming out. I admitted in my endeavors to not eat anything I may have forgotten to up the amount of water I'm supposed to drink. She said she really hated to do it but she was going to have to stick my other arm.
I cheerfully agreed but she kept looking at me funny again. I'm guessing I either turned green or at least paled considerably. Still she stuck the other side, got PLENTY of blood out of that side and told me I'm going to have to suggest to people in the future that they take from the right side.
Once it was over I was good again. Once again mortified at how I react. I don't understand it. I understand everything rationally and I don't have a problem going by myself, holding still or having it done. If all that's fine WHY do I start shaking so badly? It's ridiculous.
I was supposed to stay for 10 - 15 minutes to make sure I didn't pass out since I had blood removed from my body and I hadn't eaten in almost a full day but I did not care. When my skin is pierced a hormone is released (oxytocin, I think) that makes me all happy and cheery and bright. I imagine it's the same hormone that makes people keeping picking their scabs off or keep on getting tattoos. I know it's the hormone that makes cutters feel good. In any case, I wasn't lightheaded or anything so I left.
I wanted to go straight to some fast food joint and get some sustenance, but I had to go to Walmart and get my stepson some more school supplies (he needed white-out....I didn't even know they still MADE white-out. What, is he using a TYPEWRITER??)
Then on my way out of town I went to Target because the last time I went to Target I made the mistake of looking at all their Halloween decorations. I should say up front that NORMALLY (and anyone who's seen my halloween decoration collection can verify) I DO NOT like anything CUTE for Halloween. I have a cute witch here or there, but mostly it's live-looking snakes, live-looking spiders, NON-cute ghosts, and a multitude of real-looking bones and skulls and skeletons.
This year Target has cutsie adorable cutie decorations. At first I thought they were ridiculous (the sparkly pastel skeletons in particular made me want to retch) but then I saw this candy jar
. I am ALL ABOUT the cutesy Frankensteins they have at Target this year!!!! They are SOOO CUTE!! I blatantly don't like Frankenstein because of the whole "Science over God" thing but I am ALL ABOUT this adorable guy at Target!! Of course at the time I had already spent way too much money on my kids at Target so I refused to buy anything else other than the punch bowl with ladle and the tablecloth because last year I looked and looked and LOOKED for those two items and NEVER found them! Also I usually don't buy Hday stuff until AFTER it's over to hit those FREAKING AWESOME after holiday sales!So I left it and went home. But ever since then I could not stop thinking about that candy jar. It's SOOO cute! C'mon LOOK at it!! HOW CUTE IS THIS?? HOW COULD ANYONE SAY NO? So I went back and bought it. It was the only thing I bought out of the entire Target so I was proud of myself. Besides, it's so cute there's no gaurantee that it would still be around after the holiday is over. AND after the experience we had where we tried to buy a pool in JUNE and they couldn't because they were getting ready for CHRISTMAS (walmart) I didn't want to chance not getting this fabulous candy dish. So I bought it. And I love it.
I still want this...whatever it is.
It is about two feet tall and I assume it's a giant candy dish or something for outside but it was a little too costly for me. So I'm sticking with the frankenstien candy dish for this year. There are sooooooooo many things at Target that I want want WANT 
but I don't have all that much money period. We are supposed to limit our decoration shopping to ONE item PER holiday PER year...and the candy dish is IT for this year!
Anyway after that I went to McDonalds and now I'm so full I could about barf. I shouldn't have stuffed myself but it had been so long since I had eaten I felt I deserved it LOL!
but I don't have all that much money period. We are supposed to limit our decoration shopping to ONE item PER holiday PER year...and the candy dish is IT for this year!Anyway after that I went to McDonalds and now I'm so full I could about barf. I shouldn't have stuffed myself but it had been so long since I had eaten I felt I deserved it LOL!
No comments:
Post a Comment